


kiss me like you miss me, fuck me like you hate me

by pepi_peachnbeans



Series: you hate me now (you love me now) [3]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, JAEBUM IS AN ASSHOLE, M/M, Post break up fic, Post-Break Up, Smut, They still love each other, happy-ish ending, im still bad at tagging, jinyoung is an asshole, marks a good bro, most of got7 is only mention, other kpop idols are there, so is youngjae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 23:59:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13986090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepi_peachnbeans/pseuds/pepi_peachnbeans
Summary: Now he felt the hurt rushing him over again, his heart almost seizing as he squeezed his eyes shut tighter. Because the Im Jaebum wound in his heart wasn't healed at all, and now he just came him and tore down the wall Jinyoung had built in attempt to not feel the pain. He tore it down brick my brick, savagely with his bare hands, like how his bare hands tore him apart as he held his thighs apart and fucked into him.





	kiss me like you miss me, fuck me like you hate me

**Author's Note:**

> title from drake sleeping alone  
> also i wrote this in like 10 minutes

"You're going to be okay," Mark reassured seemingly for the millionth time in the last five minutes alone, yet it did nothing for Jinyoung's nerves. 

He was being over judgemental changes things last second, micromanaging, being picky, as Mark would like to say. But it was just how Jinyoung had coped with being anxious, because he was. He damned his companies owner, coincidentally also named Park Jinyoung, for letting Jinyoung have this showcase. 

"Everything looks fine," Mark tried again to comfort as Jinyoung adjusted the same oil painting for the 18th time (Mark wished he was kidding) in the last ten minutes. "Come on, you have like five minutes until Hyunwoo let's people in." 

That was definitely the worst thing Mark could say to Jinyoung, because all he did was shriek when Mark told him the time, going over everything even more. If Mark didn't love him so much, he probably would have strangled him. The second the first wave of guests came in, and people began looking around excitedly, and fondly, Mark witnessed Jinyoung begin to relax. So much so, he even began to go mingle, which for Park Jinyoung, was a rare sight. 

But the world was always against Jinyoung as it seems, nothing did ever go right for him, practically ever. His life was some pathetic melodrama, that Jackson and Yugyeom got off to his utter misery on the sidelines. 

One of his peers, not close enough that Jinyoung would call him a friend, but they did talk often enough, Namjoon approached him to talk to him about some of his pieces. They were in a rather heated discussion, comparing the usage of color palettes when Jinyoung spotted him. 

It wasn't hard to, really. Not without how he stuck out, dangerously handsome as ever. Black hair slicked black, silver piercings glittering in the low light, dark suit with white button up that was open exposing his collar bones and his wide shoulders. Without a doubt he managed to be the sexiest person in the building. How couldn't eyes just gravitate to him in an instance? That, and Jinyoung was sure that he would always have a Jaebum radar naturally programed. 

Once, the sight of seeing him would make him grow into a wide smile, and make his heart thump fast. 

Now it made his blood run cold and his back straighten like a rod. His heart still beat fast, but not in a good way. There was a tug in his heart, and an unsettling feeling in his stomach upon seeing that he had the damn audacity to just walk in here, looking like that, after everything that happened. There mere sight of him made his skin prickle in utter anger. 

Namjoon obviously noticed the sudden change because he stopped talking, eyebrows furrowed, "Jinyoung? Are you okay?" 

Blinking, Jinyoung let his eyes fall back onto Namjoon, "Yeah, I'm just going to go to the bathroom. Thanks for coming!" 

He didn't even give Namjoon any time to respond before he was turning on his heels and walking as far away from Jaebum as he could, wanting to be as far away from his as possible. Part of him was incredulous, furious, how dare he fucking come to this? After weeks of radio silence. Was he just here to taunt Jinyoung? Being the asshole he always has been, and that made him scoff aloud. 

Hardly minutes later sense Jaebum walked in, and merely seconds after he walked away from Namjoon, Youngjae was approaching him, a deep frown set on his face. "Hyung he's here." 

It took all of his might to not let his voice drip with venom, "I know." 

But he clearly failed, the tone of his voice making Youngjae visibly flinch. "Are you okay?" 

His lips pushed together into a thin line to keep him from releasing the string of words he really wanted to say, to stop him from snapping further at Youngjae, even though apparently being an ass is what he was best at. He wanted to of course, he wanted to scream that no, of course he wasn't okay, why would he be? Im Jaebum was here, and Jinyoung didn't want him to be, but he was anyways. "I'm fine." 

"Are you sure? I could make him leave, you know he'd listen-" 

"It's fine Youngjae." he interrupts, nearly grimacing at his tone and the way it makes Youngjae fall quiet. Jinyoung knew Jaebum to well, he was to stubborn to leave, even if it was Youngjae that asked him to. Once, it was Jackson and Yugyeom begging Jinyoung to reason with Jaebum, always whining 'but he listens to you'. But Jinyoung figured out the hard way that no, he really doesn't listen to Jinyoung at all. He's too stubborn, too prideful, and his ego was too fucking big for that. 

Then there's that damn voice, in the back of his mind invading his thoughts, reminding him that he himself was no saint in any of this, nor has he ever been. That was what bugged him the worst, because he was too prideful to admit that maybe, just maybe, he was as guilty as Jaebum was. And he was certainly too prideful to let it show that Jaebum being here bothered him.

So he breathed in, for eight, nine, ten, and then released the breathe as he rolled his shoulders back, willing for the tension to go away. He put on a fake smile, and then walked away from the corner he had secluded himself in to continue on to mingle, because this was his night, and Im Jaebum was not going to ruin it for him. 

Which he did, he went through the night easily, almost too easily. He didn't have a single run in with Jaebum, and always made sure that he was on the complete opposite end of the room as him, trying to push back the annoyance that he was staying. 

Soon enough, it was the end, and he thanked people for coming and watched as slowly people began to leave. Mark was once again by his side lingering, and Jinyoung laughed as convincing as he could, "You don't have to stay and help, you've helped me enough hyung." Really, Jinyoung just wanted to be alone.

Mark gave him a skeptical look but nonetheless walked away. Finally, he sighed as he rubbed his hands over his face  as he walked up the stairs and into his personal office. Finally, there was a silence in the building, and not the soft chatter. It was like he could finally breathe. Leaning against his desk, he tilted his head back and let out another deep breathe.

There was foot steps leading to his doorway, and Jinyoung sighed again. "I don't need help hyung," he said softly as he looked at the door way. But it wasn't Mark that was standing in the hallway. He felt his face grow pale, and his palms begin to sweat. 

It was Jaebum. 

He didn't want to deal with this right now. He didn't want to think about why he had even showed up at all tonight, and why he was now standing in the doorway of Jinyoung's office. It was like his heart plunged and that made his hands curl into themselves so hard that he could hear the cracks. 

"Hi Jinyoung." 

That's all it took to make the dam burst. Finally he straightened up, eyes narrowing into a glare. "Why are you here?" 

Jaebum gave him an arrogant look, as if the answer was more than obvious, "I promised you that I'd be here." 

He didn't care, he didn't give a single fuck about the old promise. Jaebum broke a bunch before, so why did he decide to keep this one? "Why are you always so goddamn selfish Jaebum? Why can't you at least let me have this day?"

"Is it really bad that I want to support you Jinyoung?" 

"Yes!" he yelled as he brings his hands up to run through his hair in utter exasperation. "You don't get to tell me to 'get the fuck out' and then show up here like this. Promise be damned, I don't want you here." 

Finally, whatever calm composure Jaebum had before was gone, as his jaw tightened, voice cold. "Don't act like you didn't want to fucking go in the first place Jinyoung." he walked in closer, closing in on Jinyoung was was still against his desk. "Stop acting like I'm the fucking villain in this story, because you aren't the hero, you're not even the vigilante, you're just as shitty as I am." 

A sound of disgust made it's way from Jinyoung's throat as he scrunched his nose up at Jaebum, "It's not my fault that you were always a shitty friend, and an even worse lover." 

It was like something in him snapped, as he reached out, fingers curled tightly against Jinyoung's shirt as he pulled him close, voice low, and livid, "And what the fuck does that make you Jinyoung?" 

Another noise left the back of Jinyoung's throat as Jaebum's face was now right in front of his, panting in utter anger as those dark eyes bored into Jinyoung's. When he brought his hands up to Jaebum's shoulders, his mind screamed at him to push him away. "Get out," his voice was low and he pressed his palms flatter against the span of Jaebum's shoulders. 

"Do you really want me to go?" 

He hated it, he fucking hated how his skin burned in anticipation, waiting for Jaebum's hands to touch him more. How his stomach went up in flames that engulfed him upon his hot stare. He despised himself for how his dick twitched as Jaebum's grip tightened and he pushed himself closer to Jinyoung. And he hated that Jaebum still knew him, could pick up on him before Jinyoung even could. 

Their lips were crashing against each other in an ugly way of all teeth that made both of them wince as they leaned further into the kiss. It was fast, both of them pouring their anger there as they tried to be the one 'in charge' of it. When Jaebum's hands smoothed out, to slip down to his hips, he couldn't help but let out a moan of finally being touched by him again. As he bit down on Jaebum's lip not too kindly, he let his hands slide up to his neck, fingers pressing into the dips, and finger nails ghosting over the skin until he was cupping his jaw tight and pushed Jaebum's face away from his. 

With a sigh he brought his mouth down to his neck as he kissed, licked, and bit everywhere he could, as he silently thanked Jaebum for having his shirt already so unbuttoned. In the midst of all their mouths and tongues, Jaebum worked on unbuttoning both of their shirts. And then Jaebum's hand was in his hair pulling harshly and Jinyoung was pulling away long enough to let his and Jaebum's shirts and jackets fall to the floor until he was latched back onto him. 

And this was something that he knew so damn well. Being here, in Jaebum's arms, their mouths latched onto each other and hands wandering. Jinyoung let his hands wander back up into Jaebum's hair and gripped hard tugging him forward as he rolled his hips up and against his. 

The beauty about dress pants is that he could feel exactly just how hard Jaebum was as he began to roll his hips down against Jinyoung's, forcefully humping him down and back against the desk.

Jinyoung should be angry right now, furious, that Jaebum dared to show up, to walk into his office, and was now touching Jinyoung exactly how Jinyoung liked to be touched. But he couldn't find it in him to, all he could do was moan loudly as Jaebum continued to grind his hips against Jinyoung's, as his fingers itched to reach into the dress pants and touch his dick. 

So he did, he undid his belt and then was sliding his hand straight into his boxers to let his hand go flat against Jaebum's dick. He shuddered, and then fell into a full stop as he moaned into Jinyoung's neck. "Pants off, come on Jaebum," he moaned as he pulled his hand out. 

Jaebum pulled away to tug off his pants and boxers, and came back to tear Jinyoung's off. Jinyoung stayed silent, listening to his beating heart as he watched Jaebum who was just staring at him, eyes racking up and down his body. It made the irritation crawl up against his back again, "Either suck me off or fuck off Jaebum." 

Finally Jaebum began to moved as he pulled closer, "I'd rather fuck you instead." 

"Then fucking do it," he hissed as he tried to tug Jaebum closer to him. 

Jaebum's mouth was on his again as he pressed himself closer, mouth attached to his as he wasted no time in pressing a finger into Jinyoung's ass. It burned, and it hurt, there was nothing to help the slide. But Jinyoung almost preferred it that way. Focusing on the pain, and hte pleasure of it, was better than focusing on anything else. 

Like how after weeks of not talking here he was bent over his own desk in his office as Jaebum fingered him. 

When both of his hands went wandering, the hands from his ass was leaving and wrists were gripping his as they pushed him down and pinned him by his wrists. He was bent down, further than he was before, back completely flush against his desk. 

"Did you miss me?" Jaebum growled as his hips rolled against Jinyoung's while he let himself hold himself up purely by the hands that were holding Jinyoung's wrists in a vice like grip. "Come on Jinyoungie." 

"Fuck you," Jinyoung spat as he bucked his hips up to grind against Jaebum's, just wanting to feel the friction. Bowing his back off of the desk, he pushed his hips up yet again. 

The two began to move like that, humping up into each other again as they bit and growled harsh comments towards each other, each one almost worse than the last. "I hate you," Jaebum finally spoke into Jinyoung's mouth as he nipped at Jinyoung's bottom lip. "I fucking hate you so much Park Jinyoung." 

"Yeah?" Jinyoung purred as he moved his legs apart to make it easier for Jaebum to fit in between. "Prove it." 

The feeling of Jaebum slamming into him made a scream ripple it's way through his throat as he threw his head back. He hadn't even realized how much his body was shaking in need, in the need to feel Jaebum, to feel him inside of him, but now he was and it sent shock waves through his body. Eventually the pain completely faded into full pleasure as Jaebum relentlessly pounded into Jinyoung and all he could do was mewl at the pleasure as he let Jaebum just fuck into him. 

Jabum bent so that his head was in the juncture between Jinyoung's neck and shoulders as he moaned as he kept snapping his hips. "Jinyoungie." 

"Jaebum." 

His hands were moving from his wrists, traveling down his body, finger tips pressing into his skin, until he got to both of Jinyoung's thighs. He groped the skin there, letting it jiggle until he pushed Jinyoung's thighs apart more, holding him open to fuck into him more. "Jirongie." 

With a loud moan, Jinyoung's orgasm sneaked up on him as he shook, Jaebum still fucking him through his orgasm. Almost desperate now, Jaebum pulled out of Jinyoung, and now that his hands were free, Jinyoung brought his hands back down to Jaebum's dick, not even  finding the time to tease him as he pumped him up and down, fingers curled around him, and wrist flicking at the right time. With one final press into his slit, Jaebum was cumming all over Jinyoung and his hands. 

But the second that Jaebum pulled away from him, breathing heavily, as if Jinyoung's body suddenly burned him, he only screwed his eyes shut as he willed himself to not cry. The earlier disgust crawled up his throat, almost refusing to let him breathe. But his time, he was disgusted at himself. Because now, after this, everything was hitting him again, and he couldn't hide behind the anger he was so desperately clinging to. 

Now he felt the hurt rushing him over again, his heart almost seizing as he squeezed his eyes shut tighter. Because the Im Jaebum wound in his heart wasn't healed at all, and now he just came him and tore down the wall Jinyoung had built in attempt to not feel the pain. He tore it down brick my brick, savagely with his bare hands, like how his bare hands tore him apart as he held his thighs apart and fucked into him. 

It was all these ugly emotions that Jinyoung didn't want to face, being angry was easier than being hurt, being disappointed, being heartbroken. 

The moments ticked by in utter silence, even though all Jinyoung could hear was the own rushing of his blood, the beating of his heart, and the whirlwind that was his mind. All earlier anger and lust had easily dissipated and now he was left to just lay here bare with everything he was trying to avoid. 

Like how like some fool he was still utterly and entirely in love with Jaebum.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Jinyoung found it in himself to be brave enough to open his eyes fully expecting to be met with the empty room. Instead, still unmoving, several feet away, Jaebum was standing there looking at him. "I shouldn't have come here." 

He was too tired of being angry, he was utterly drained, and he felt like all of his emotions were sucked away from him. "Then why did you?" 

"I wanted to see you." 

He was tired of hurting, of being lead on, of just not knowing. He always hated uncertainty, especially now. And he didn't like where this conversation was going, it sounded too much like a goodbye. "Don't say that Jaebum." 

"It's true, I've missed you." 

"You told me to go," Jinyoung sighed as he sat up and winced. The confusion was beginning to eat him alive. 

"You're right, I'm selfish. I was hoping that you would come back." 

The tone of his voice rose louder, "How was I suppose to know that? You don't tell me things Jaebum." 

"I know," his voice was quiet. "I didn't tell you that I loved you, I should have told you that more. Because I do." 

There it was, the thing that had been lacking for months now, something that Jinyoung once had so desperately wished for Jaebum to tell him. Now it just made him feel uneasy. After everything, he was telling him now? "What if that isn't enough Jaebum? To fix this, to fix us?" 

"Maybe it isn't." Jinyoung just wanted him to stop talking, he was seconds away from crying, Jinyoung's heart was in Jaebum's hands and it would be so easy for him to just destroy it with words alone. "Is that what you're afraid of?" 

"I'm afraid of a lot of things hyung." 

"Like loving me?" 

"Like losing you. Being over you. I'm afraid that one day I will wake up and not feel anything for you at all, not anger, not sadness, not love, just nothing. That I won't miss you anymore." 

Jaebum released a deep and heavy sigh as he looked back down at Jinyoung, emotion in his eyes, "Then why aren't we together anymore Jinyoungie?" 

"Because you hurt me," Jinyoung swallowed as he told the truth. But that wasn't all of it. "and I hurt you."

"Do you still love me?" 

There it was, that question he was asking. Of course Jinyoung did, but as the seconds ticked on he couldn't bring himself to actually say it, to admit to Jaebum that yes, he still very much was in love with him. When he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, he missed the way that Jaebum's head turned and a hand covered his face. "Yes." 

Maybe love couldn't fix it, but just maybe, they could.


End file.
